29 gifts

This early morn as I sat rocking and feeding Tru at 5:40, I was tired.. oh so tired.

I looked into those cute eyes staring up at me as Tru drank oh so slowly... so slowly ... and I thought about the day before me. I decided last night I needed to be a more loving patient mother, especially with Abe. I recommitted myself to try a bit harder today to be loving.

Tru reached up to grab and scratch my cheek. He likes to do this when he eats. He is such a sweet little person.

I found myself wishing Tru would eat faster so I could go back to sleep but then I realized,

"I will never live this moment again."

So I tried to enjoy my time with my sweet little squishy baby, even though it was way too early for my liking.

And so today I keep repeating to myself,

"Today I choose to GIVE with love...
sincere pure love."

I'm still tired. I still want to snuggle into the covers of my warm bed. But I have 4 tots who need a loving mother who GIVES because she chooses too - out of love. They don't need a mother hiding under the covers.

I wrote the rest of this post months ago and I needed to revisit it for my morning pep-talk and inspiration. I have a long ways to go to internalize and make daily GIFTS a part of my every moment, but this is a start.

I came across a blog that mentioned this book "29 Gifts" by Cami Walker. I liked the idea of it so I borrowed it from the library and read it in a day.

This gal Cami Walker has MS and was completely overwhelmed by major health problems and depression. It was very educational to read her graphic description of all that people with MS deal with (be aware if you read it that it isn't all yellow balloons and sunshine - which is why it seems do-able ... because her life is so hard and so real).

Here's more info on

The 29 Gifts Story

by Cami Walker

I really enjoyed this book and wanted to try this experiment for myself. I've had a bit of the baby blues and feeling a little looney and unable to handle this adjustment to 4 tots very well. I felt like I was giving all I had to my family and wasn't getting filled up again to keep giving.... to anyone.

I kept thinking of President Kimball's quote about how giving and serving others will help there be "more" of you. I kept getting frustrated when I thought about that because I thought, "did he realize that as a mother every ounce of giving gets sucked out of you every minute of every day."

BUT as I read this book and did my 29 day experiment I realized a few things that would help me have more to give. Here are my thoughts about it:

~ I give all day long as a mother. But I don't always give with sincere love and intent. When I give grudgingly, I feel drained and selfish. When I decide to CHOOSE to give with a heart full of love, I feel full. I don't like doing something because I feel like I have to (which is why I dislike so many household tasks). I want to CHOOSE to do it ... and when I think of my daily tasks as GIFTS, it becomes a choice. I like myself when I give for the right reason.

~ Giving presents is fun. It's always fun to delight someone with a little something special. Giving time, patience, and forgiveness required much more sincere thought and effort for me.

~ As suggested in the book, I kept a mini journal every night of what I gave. In some ways I didn't like writing it down, like someone would think I was writing it to get credit someday... but really it was a good exercise for me. On days I was lame at giving, I would think through my choices that day and would realize that I did give with sincere intent... sometimes a surprise give. It also helped me think of things I was given that day ... which helped me feel more grateful for and loved by others.

~ I realized it's not up to others to fill me up at the end of a long day. I can fill myself up throughout the day by CHOOSING to give lovingly. Yes, we all need love... but most of us are given love but we don't always recognize or receive it because we are so busy feeling empty. I also know I need to fill my spiritual bucket to have increased energy and perspective.

~ Gifts don't have to be extravagant extra things in my day. Most of mine were simple 5 minute things (or moments throughout the day) that had to do with my own little family.

~ I realized I have a lot of good intentions to give to others outside my home ... well, and within my home. This exercise helped me get some of those good intentions out the door. I feel good about myself when I follow through with my thoughts.

~ Giving with intent and love really does help you stop thinking about your own problems as often. Your mind is more thoughtful of others.

~ I'm a work in progress. I haven't mastered this life-changing attitude about giving and CHOOSING to give with intent and heart-felt love. But I want to keep it up until it becomes a part of me.

"My Favorite Quotes" PDF

from 29 Gifts book

(Cute giving quote by One Happy Mama)